Odd age

Alhamdulillah, turned 23 a couple of days ago.

Hmmm, where do I begin?

I know it has only been a couple of days, but I've (already) come to the conclusion that 23 is such an odd age.

You're not turning 20 cue : no-longer-a-teenager-birthday-bash, not  that finally-an-adult-21-years-old, no longer a 22 year old where you can sing your heart out to Taylor Swift's 22 (not quite sure how a song can validate your age but I'd also like to think that 22 is a pretty number, just because).

23 is 23. Like .. even when you say 23 it doesn't sound that nice. Maybe because it's a prime number. But 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19 are prime numbers too. But somehow those birthdays carry some sort of meaning and seems so eventful (?). Where as, 23 is just .. 23. Can't shake this odd feeling off. It's like you're neither here nor there (wherever that may be). Just 23.

One of the reasons 23 seems so odd may be the life-changing-questions (more like life-decisions) that often becomes the main topic in any conversation that I've been part of as of late.

"When are you graduating?" "Macam dah lama je dekat sana, bila habis?"

"What are your plans after graduation?" "Where will you be doing your intern?"

"PhD soon after?" "Would you mind going interstate?"

In all honesty, most of these questions have been boggling in my mind since the first day of Uni and like it or not, the time has come for decisions to be made. Can't believe I made myself think for 4 years and still indecisive. (This may be due to other factors as well but ... maybe they're too personal to share here. Even if I'm the only reader of this site. ahah.)

Okay, moving on.

Had a discussion about future (and past) plans with some of my friends this past week and ... funny thing was some of the question did pop up in my head quite recently and I was startled that I came up with such a question.

The question was ... "What made you decide to study here in the first place? Might as well continue your studies locally and practice there."

There I said it.

That question itself made me realise ... somewhere down the road you'd have to question your initial niat. Not really because of self-doubt but more of self-reassurance and reminder of why you started the whole journey in the first place. There's this very fine line between self-doubt and self-assurance that is just ... unexplainable (at least in words .. in this post.)

Even this post seems odd now.

More positivity (and continuation of this, hopefully) when the sun comes out in a few hours.

Till then,

Happy belated birthday, dear self <3 p="">