I sorta outlined how my summer break would be since mid year, probably. Being my indecisive self, clearly, I had several plans as a backup as well.
And guess which one was the lucky one?
Of course the last one in the pile 😂
(And let's face it, I probably had an inkling that the last choice would be THE ultimate choice at the end of the day)
I won't say I regret my decision because these are the choices that I've soberly (not that I've ever been not sober - just putting it out there) made.
Despite being the least adventurous choice, I definitely discovered new sides (or more of acknowledging who I truly am and how my train of thoughts actually work). I gotta say I may have been in denial with myself, especially regarding my personality and character in this past few years. But tonight I realised that hey, I'm actually like this (since like forever) or like woah, I'm becoming more like this now that I'm approaching final year.
At a glance I've always thought that I'm probably the same person I was since first year but after much thought (at 2.00AM on a breezy summer night - post-severe thunderstorm), I think I should remind myself that you are indeed evolving, Kartika. Towards a better version of yourself, hopefully.
And it's okay to take small baby steps or going back a few steps when you need to. Just remember to chin up and march on. Nothing in life is permanent, so if you think something needs to be changed (about yourself, in particular), have the courage to acknowledge it and do what you need to do to fix it. Seek help when you need to because the people you have in your life are there for a reason.
All in all, alhamdulillah for the summer heat. Towards more self-discovery & a better me :)
