Lately, my guilty conscience have been bugging me. As much as I've been learning about the people around me, Alhamdulillah, Allah opened my eyes to realise my own flaws.
I've been putting a lot of time and energy on stuffs that really ... might not even matter. To put it simply, I've been wasting a lot of time. I feel like running and chasing things that aren't there. Things like my thoughts, people and things in the cyber world.
At the start of summer vacation, as people start leaving this city back to their respective hometowns, a dear sister (really, i respect her like my own) had a little chat with me about my future. Where should I go from here? What are my options? What's better? So on and so forth. I was being the lazy me (my excuse was ... come on, my last paper was just a week ago, my mind deserve a break.) with the typical short-term goals and thoughts. I clearly remember, at the end of the conversation, she told me "Okay, take care alright! Have a think about what we talked about! Remember to dream big!"
From there on, that's what I've been doing (literally). I realised I have lots of wonderful (really, I think so) ideas and thoughts. Most of which are do-able yet I've been drowning myself with fear and doubts that these wonderful things remain in my mind (if not forgotten with time). And now I've realised I've been merely running in circles.
I've been questioning myself a lot lately. About this roundabout. I should stop tiring my mind with the procrastination, by giving myself excuses, just so I could avoid choosing (on my own) an exit. For myself.
