Niat

Biarpun niat kita dalam segala yang kita buat tu memang antara kita dengan Allah, sebaik mana pun niat kita dalam segala benda yang kita buat, kalau apa yang kita buat tu boleh menimbulkan fitnah, boleh disalah ertikan, mungkin lebih baik dielakkan?

Sebab apa-apa pun, niat takkan pernah menghalalkan cara. 

*campak niat ke laut*

Beralih kepada hal lain, siapa sangka boleh rasa macam ni? Mungkin ungkapan ni selalu menjadi bahan jenaka tapi mungkin betul jugak, ini semua bisikan syaitan untuk menggugat silaturrahim, untuk mengalihkan fokus daripada perkara-perkara yang lebih utama kepada hal-hal duniawi semata. Waktu genting macam ni, baru sedar. Cepatnya kita melatah bila Allah bagi ujian sedikit. Astaghfirullahalazim. 

Perhaps at the end of the day, what we really need is self-reflect so that we could ultimately correct our niats. In everything. 

Lillahi Taála. 

Lillahi Taála.

Lillahi Taála. 

For real now

Please Kartika. You can do this. You know it.

How are you?

Three simple words.

That could easily open up to various other topics. The response often come from either end of the spectrum -- could be as simple as a 2-letter word (or even one in this day and age) or even paragraphs of rants and thoughts. The same three words also have this certain value, often in the form of appreciation or acknowledgement (?). You know, it's like ... you are present in the life of the one asking you that question. Someone feeling depressed or lonely could have an instant recovery upon this one simple question. Sometimes (perhaps, most) they're just the magic words that would open the gates of emotions.

Presence. Assurance.

They're getting more important as days go by.

Hmm.

Turning point

Lately, my guilty conscience have been bugging me. As much as I've been learning about the people around me, Alhamdulillah, Allah opened my eyes to realise my own flaws.

I've been putting a lot of time and energy on stuffs that really ... might not even matter. To put it simply, I've been wasting a lot of time. I feel like running and chasing things that aren't there. Things like my thoughts, people and things in the cyber world.

At the start of summer vacation, as people start leaving this city back to their respective hometowns, a dear sister (really, i respect her like my own) had a little chat with me about my future. Where should I go from here? What are my options? What's better? So on and so forth. I was being the lazy me (my excuse was ... come on, my last paper was just a week ago, my mind deserve a break.) with the typical short-term goals and thoughts. I clearly remember, at the end of the conversation, she told me "Okay, take care alright! Have a think about what we talked about! Remember to dream big!"

From there on, that's what I've been doing (literally). I realised I have lots of wonderful (really, I think so) ideas and thoughts. Most of which are do-able yet I've been drowning myself with fear and doubts that these wonderful things remain in my mind (if not forgotten with time). And now I've realised I've been merely running in circles.

I've been questioning myself a lot lately. About this roundabout. I should stop tiring my mind with the procrastination, by giving myself excuses, just so I could avoid choosing (on my own) an exit. For myself.